A Kid Like Ed
by BabyBix1234
Summary: Some higher-ups in Amestris's Military who specialize in having sticks up their asses and ruining lives find out that Edward Elric, 17 years and 10 months old, is 1. Is an underage State Alchemist, and 2. That he and his younger brother Alphonse Elric are living sans legal guardians. They threaten to take Ed's job from him and pace both teenagers into foster care, at which point
1. Chapter 1

**A Kid Like Ed**

Chapter 1: Social Services Call

Roy Mustang was having a wonderful day. He'd even say it to be spectacular. Hawkeye, his beautiful blonde Lieutenant and life-long best friend, had only pointed her gun at his head once this morning to get him to work on his paper work. Havoc, Breda, and Fuery hadn't done something wholly stupid, yet; 'yet' being the operative word in that sentence. But, due to his wondrous mood, Brigadier General Mustang was utterly sure that he could take whatever trouble the three men on his team got into, no snapping fingers needed. And the best part, you ask? Edward Elric, one of the men on his team and his not-so secret love interest, was returning from a two-month-long mission in some far off city.

Of course, the last part had some disadvantages, as well. Roy would have to act down-right hostile toward the almost-adult so as to not show him just how in love he was with the other man. He would have to restrain his eyes from staring at that small, but toned, body wrapped in tight black leather. With the way the hot, sticky summer weather in Amestris had been lately, the pants, softened from use, would be clinging to every muscle onto the flesh leg and the metal parts of automail one would be slightly accentuated. The pants would have ridden down a bit, too, exposing a bit of the bottom of a defined set of six-pack abs and a deep 'V' leading to places that were also accentuated due to the tight, sweat-damp leather. Also because of the heat, the almost-legal man would be forced to take off the warm black leather jacket, leaving him in only a tight black wife-beater tank-top. This would expose the elegant column of the shorter man's neck, the right arm made of automail, and the strong, muscled flesh arm and it would also define the taught muscles of his chest.

But, of course, this was Brigadier General Mustang. He had enough control not to stare at Edward Elric's perfect body, his dazzling blonde hair, which laid over a perfect neck, and/or his gorgeous golden-brown eyes. He wouldn't even think about them. He wouldn't think about those tight black pants that were made to kill ladies and gentlemen alike, that perfectly round ass, those plump, kissable lips… Oh who was he kidding? He already was thinking about them. He'd just have to refrain from allowing his traitorous eyes from staring and his hands from touching the blonde, for that matter.

Yes, Roy Mustang would say that this was the perfect morning. That is until the phone on his desk suddenly began to ring just before his lunch break was set to come. This had to be important, else his secretary, a major upside to his promotion, wouldn't have sent the call through at this time without asking him first. He sighed heavily and, determined not to let something as simple as an assumedly lengthy call at lunch time ruin his perfect day, he picked up the phone with a smile, because, of course, nothing could ruin his perfect day.

"Hello, this is Brigadier General Mustang speaking," Roy greeted whoever was on the other end of the phone in a formal tone. It could be the Fuhrer himself for all he knew.

"_Yes, this is Wendy Zharnt from the social services branch of Central law enforcement. It has come to my attention that you have had an underage orphan working under you for some years now. His name is Edward Elric, yes? Also, it seems that he and his younger brother Alphonse Elric do not have a legal guardian and have not since they were orphaned at a very young ager. If this is so, I am going to need you to bring them to Central Police Station 3 so that they may be put into foster care. Also, Edward will have to be removed from your team due to the fact that he has no guardian signature giving him permission to join the State Alchemists while underage. I'm sorry, Sir."_

"_What_" Roy exclaimed. So much for nothing being able to ruin his day.

"_I'm sorry, Sir, but unless somebody offers to become the guardian for both brothers and sign so Edward can stay a State Alchemist, there's nothing I can do. They will both be sent to foster homes." Wendy said with little apologetic inflection. _

"Foster homes? As in plural? They're all that each other have left, though!" Roy tried not to yell into the phone. Seriously, though, he thought that foster care was supposed to do what's best for the kid. It's not supposed to separate family or take your job from you. Also, Roy was particularly upset because he had truly come to care about both Elric brothers. Hell, he'd fallen in love with Edward.

"_I'm sorry, Brigadier General, but that's the law. All minors _must_ have a legal guardian; especially if they are in the military."_

"What if _I_ took them? I have a large, empty house. I've been supporting them both financially since Ed was eleven. If I took them, could Edward stay in service and could they stay together?" Roy almost pleaded. Almost. Mustang had too much pride for that.

"_Are you sure about that, sir?" _Wendy asked,_ "They get into quite a lot of trouble, according to their records."_

"Of course I'm sure!" Roy snapped into the phone. Really, this was cutting majorly into his lunch break and if he wasn't back and working on time, Hawkeye would have a gun to his head before he could say 'Blame Ed!" Plus, he was hungry. He hadn't eaten since five o' clock. That was seven hours ago!

"_Alright, Sir," _Wendy said after some thought. _"If you're sure about this, please come to Central Police Station 3 as soon as possible so that you may fill out the necessary paper work. Oh! Bring Edward and Alphonse too. I'll be seeing you three later today then." _

"What on Earth have I gotten myself into?"

"Why are you late again, General?" Riza Hawkeye asked menacingly as Roy Mustang walked back into the front office area on the way toward his private office with his philosophical tail tucked between his legs. Damn it. He had been hoping in vain that Riza wouldn't notice. So much for that idea.

"Yeah, General, I would've thought that you'd be back sooner. Ed's been waiting in your office for the past twenty minutes. Alone," Havoc shot him a wink. Roy decided to ignore him and return to apologizing and explaining himself to the sharpshooter who currently had her deadly weapon aimed straight at his forehead. She couldn't be too mad then; it wasn't aimed at his crotch this time.

"I'm sorry!" Roy exclaimed sincerely. "I got a rather long and disturbing call from a social services lady that took up almost my entire lunch break!"

Riza slowly dropped the handgun, but still kept it in a ready position, just in case Mustang made a break for it. She knew him far too well. And because she knew him so well, she knew that, as far as he knew, he didn't have any children. But, due to the fact that he was such a womanizer, until he fell for Ed, that is, she wouldn't be surprised if some woman had had his kid.

"Who'd you knock up, boss?" Havoc asked him. What? Great minds think alike!

"I always use a condom, Havoc. None of the women I've slept with have gotten pregnant. By me, at least. The call was about the demon currently sitting bored in my office. He's probably got the entire place transmuted and re-transmuted by now." Roy grumbled. How could his own men believe him so irresponsible so as to knock a chick up and not take responsibility for the kid immediately?

"What about Chief?" Fuery asked concernedly. He had a soft spot for the short alchemist. Hell, he was soft in general, but it especially extended toward Edward.

"Apparently, Social Services have just now gotten ahold of his record. They tried to split the two up and put them into foster homes. They also said that because Ed is two months underage and he doesn't have a legal guardian to sign permission for him to be part of the military, they won't let him keep his job either. I offered to take both in as their legal guardians." Roy relayed. This was met with looks of shock and anger.

"They can't do that can they?" Breda exclaimed. Nods of agreement accompanied his question.

"They can," Roy said, "but they won't. I offered to adopt the two orphans. They won't be able to take him away now. I have space, funding, and position. Also, he won't lose his job because I'll sign for him to stay." All of the men and Hawkeye breathed a sigh of relief that they didn't know that they had been holding. They really had gotten attached to the Elrics.

"I just need to take them to the Station so I can fill out the paperwork to become their guardians." Roy said.

"Does Ed or Al know yet?" Hawkeye, ever insightful, asked.

"No, I wasn't planning on telling them until I had them both there. Al, I'm not worried about. Ed, on the other hand, might make a run for it. He's not exactly going to like the fact that he's going to have to live with me."

"Good idea, sir," Hawkeye praised. "I'm sure he won't take it too badly, but good luck all the same."

"Thanks, Hawkeye!" Roy called over his shoulder as he walked toward his office where the subject of the previous conversation was currently residing. He was thankful for two things. One, she didn't shoot him. Two, he'd be really needing that luck.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Edward Elric was bored. So very bored, in fact, that during the twenty-five minutes he'd been forced to sit on a very comfortable very expensive black leather couch in one Roy Mustang's office waiting for said owner to show up, he'd resorted to transmuting everything. What the Hell? Mustang was taking forever. He was impatient. Mix the two together, and you get a State Alchemist with a _short_ fuse.

Ever so cautiously, Roy opened the door. Everybody knew to _never_ leave Edward Elric the Shrimp Alchemist alone, with nothing to do, for more than 30 seconds. It'd almost been half an hour. Lord only knows what kind of condition hi-

"Oh my God!" Roy knew it had to be coming, but the state of his office was … there were no words to describe it. His desk, his antique Redwood desk that was passed down to him when his grandfather passed, was in several pieces. Some parts were horse figurines, some were just malformed pieces of wood, and others were morphed into all sorts of shapes and figures. No other piece of furniture, save for most of the leather couch that the devil had been sitting upon, had fared much better. All objects, even the floor and ceiling, had been alchemically altered in some way or another.

"Sorry, Bastard. I don't believe in him." Ed retorted moodily to Roy's exclamation.

"I don't care if you do or don't. But what does that have to do with the mess my office is?" Roy asked, exasperated. His day was perfect. That all just had to change because of some stick-up-her ass social worker. Now, his office was ruined by the same gorgeous, lovable demon spawn that currently sat admiring his handy work, ever the picture of innocence, and would be coming to live with him that night.

"Not my fault that you are," he checked his pocket watch, "almost thirty minutes late. What took you so long, Roy? Have somebody dump water on you? Useless as you are when wet."

As Ed continued on his monologue on what could have made the General late and just how useless he was, said General was starting to get fed up.

"Shut up you ungrateful Shrimp! And put my office back in order while you're at it!" Pride be dammed, Mustang snapped at the shorter alchemist (At least he didn't snap with his fingers). Roy winced in preparation of another one of Ed's short rants. He was supposed to be winning the blonde over so that he would agree to stay and maybe fall in love with him. Insults usually aren't considered all that romantic.

"Who're you calling shorter than a wee midget?" Ed, predictably, yelled. But, in a show of how much he had matured over the years, he clapped his hands, set them on the floor, and restored everything back to its normal place and form.

Roy held his hands up in a peace-making gesture, as if Ed were a wounded animal and wouldn't hesitate to strike if he moved too fast. "I didn't say anything like that, Ed." He said gently, pulling some of that charm that is so famous with the ladies of Central. Edward took a deep breath and calmed down, showing yet another sign of how his years in the military and all of the things he saw while on the road to getting Alphonse's body back had matured him slightly. He was still the not-so-predictable but easily angered blonde teen, but he cooled off much quicker, didn't hold too many grudges, and didn't get so riled up over the little things (no pun intended).

"What did you mean by ungrateful, though? What have you done for me lately?" Ed was sincerely confused by the Brigadier General's word choice.

"We'll talk about that after you've given me the report on the last mission you were on, Ed." Roy ran a hand through his hair, a sure sign that he was stressing.

Midway through Ed's report, Mustang began to realize that all of his predictions on how the younger man would be dressed were true. He hadn't noticed before because he'd been too stressed over his office and the social worker. Now, though, the sight hit him full force. The way the leather stuck to Ed's skin like a second one left fairly little to the imagination. He had to force his eyes away from Ed's neck soon, or else the blonde would catch on.

"What did you do to that building, again?" Roy asked for the fifth time in as many minutes. Ed was indeed beginning to catch on that the General was only there in body. His mind was off in la la land.

"I destroyed it alchemically while I was trying to pin down the man that I was sent after," Ed slowly repeated himself, "Are you okay, Mustang? You seem kind of out of it?" Ed asked. Most would think it odd for him to be so genuinely concerned about a man who he supposedly hated, but it really wasn't. Ed, (*coughnotsocough*) secretly cared for the older man. In what way, he hadn't yet deciphered. Either way, if Roy Mustang was _this_ out of sorts, something serious must be wrong.

"Yes and no," he answered honestly.

"What is it?"

"Before I tell you, no, I didn't get anybody knocked up. And no, you cannot get mad until I am finished. Do you understand?" Roy was met with a curiously confused stare. He assumed that meant that Ed agreed. He took a deep breath. "I got a call from social services today."

"Why?" Ed asked. If he didn't knock some chick up, why else would they call him?

"It was about you, actually, Ed. Your brother, too." Roy told him.

"What about us?" Ed asked cautiously.

"You are both underage and without a legal guardian. They wanted to strip you of your title as State Alchemist and separate you into different foster homes." Ed opened his mouth to say something but Roy held up his hand in a 'not yet, be quiet' gesture. "I volunteered to take you both into my house as your legal guardian. You will come to live with me and I can sign for you to remain in the military." Roy held his crossed fingers under his desk, hoping and praying that Edward would take the news in stride and not blow up on him. He really didn't want to have to fight with the blonde.

"Okay," Ed agreed after some thought.

"Ed! It's the only way you two—Wait. You said yes?"

"Yeah, I mean it's the better alternative here. I'm two months away from eighteen, at which point I would be Al's next of kin and, therefore, his guardian. I live with you for two months, keep my job, and move out when I turn eighteen. Sounds like a pretty good deal to me." Roy was in shock. He thought that Edward _hated_ him. Why on Earth would he actually agree to this no questions asked.

"O-Okay, then," Roy stuttered and cleared his throat. "We need to go get Alphonse and get you two to the police station to fill out the necessary paper work."

"Paperwork? Okay, fine. Let's go get Al from our flat and head there." Ed stood and walked toward the doorway. Roy was having trouble for two reasons. One, he was still pleasantly shocked that that had went so well. Also, Edward's butt was perfectly accentuated by those pants.

"You coming, General? Or are you going to sit there and watch my ass leave all day?"

A few paperwork filled hours later found the three men outside of Roy's house. If it could be called a house, that is. It was more of a small mansion then a house. It was beautiful, with its pristine white siding and stone walkway which was surrounded by expensive looking fountains and a large expanse of flowers and shrubs. The house and the property were both very large and were enclosed by a fence that ran around the entire perimeter.

"It's lovely," Al breathed in awe.

"Thank you, Alphonse," Roy said appreciatively. "It took me a while to pay it off, but I did it without dipping into the family funds. This entire place is really just my being independent from my family's money. I wanted to do it on my own, so I did. Now, how about we go inside and get you two settled."

The inside of the house was just as beautiful as the outside, if not more so. Blues and silvers made up the majority of the color scheme. The foyer had many different portraits and statues of the Mustang family. From what Ed could tell, they went back as far as the family name. In the center was a large, twisting staircase that led to the second floor. Several stories above that, one could see a sun light, which gave the entire place a more natural look. It was the nicest house he had ever seen, and he'd only been two steps into it.

Following Roy's lead, the two younger boys began their ascent up the winding stairs. "Alphonse," Roy said, "You can take this room here and Edward, you can take the one to the right of it. If you need anything, I'm right across the hallway from Ed."

"Thank you, General," Alphonse told him gratefully. Unlike his brother, he had grown sort of fond of the general over the years.

"It's nothing, Al," Roy told him modestly. "Please, though, call me Roy if you're going to be living with me for a while." Al nodded. "Dinner will be on the table by six thirty. If you go back the way we came and hang a left at the foyer, you'll end up in the dining room."

"Thanks, Mustang," Edward said gruffly and went into his new bedroom. He'd never been any good at showing gratitude to anybody, let alone somebody who he's supposed to hate but finds himself caring rather deeply for. It was going to be a _long_ two months.

Upon heading down to start cooking, – yes Roy Mustang could, in fact, cook! – he was immediately bombarded by the sound of the brass knocker beating against his mahogany front door. He sighed and went to answer it, wrenching the do open and greeting his overly happy visitor with an annoyed expression.

"Brigadier General Mustang?" the bubbly, blonde woman asked, holding out her hand.

He looke at it with caution before taking the hand shortly. "Yes. Have we met?"

"Yes and no. We spoke briefly over the phone earlier. I am Wendy Zharnt."

His eyes widened momentarily before slipping into a suspicious glare. "Right. I didn't recognize your voice, Ms. Zharnt. Why are you here? I have adopted the boys, so your job is done."

She faked a smile through her otherwise annoyed expression and spoke in an overcompensating, sugary tone. "Not quite, General. I still must see to it that the boys are happy, safe, and provided for in your home." Cue flirtatious bat of the eyelashes.

He couldn't hold back an annoyed growl. "Well, they are. You're free to go now."

It's her turn to be annoyed now. "Fine. You will be seeing _a lot_ of me in the future though." She then turned on her too-high heel and stomped away, being sure to swing her hips.

**A./N.: Wow! One chapter and I already have reviewers and 105 views! I hope you guys like this chapter. Thank you so much for your comments, faves, and follows. **

**Review Responses:**

**ankarin:** Thanks. Hope this is soon enough

**Nikkie23534:**** Lol. Thank you so much for your comment. Yes, I do believe that Wendy represents the no-gooders of the world. As for the cock blocking, you'll just have to wait and see. *wink***

**Mrs. Elric:**** Wait and see! :P**

**Kid Darkness:**** Thank you for your kind review. **** Hope you liked this update.**

**RubySaphireMoon:**** *pokes back* Yup! Hopefully this will last a while. **


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